*original post time: saturday, 29 may ‘04 at 6:45 p.m.

**vineyard gushing warning continues…

there’s a place i go here that i like to think of as my secret place, though the truth is that dad showed it to me, and he would probably know to look for me there should i ever take too long on one of my private excursions. still, he had to search to find it, and he knows the area by maps and experience through and through, so it’s at least not that well known. i won’t write the name here… become friends with me and someday i’ll take you there. for now, i’ll just call it S_____ M_____; i’ve always wanted to play pretentious and write a place’s name like that anyway.

it’s one of my favorite places in the world. a small walking path through the woods, then a clearing and the bay and ocean, right in front of you. mom tells me not to go there alone, she’s always so afraid of people, but the truth is you’d have to know about S_____ M_____ to attack anyone there, and few people do. those that i’ve seen there could hardly be characterized as creepy: a few older people who can only be described as both salty and crunchy. plus, honestly, who is going to attack me on martha’s vineyard? a rich tourist? an artsy islander? unlikely.

so off to S_____ M_____ i biked, in search of some quiet and alone time. i was glad for the sweater i decided to bring as i biked by the fire and police stations near my house since there was still a cool breeze today. i ditched my bike behind some brush, since S_____ M_____ is only for walkers. then i walked, not paying any attention to the time even though i told my sisters i’d be home within the hour. there are some places where time doesn’t really matter. it was late afternoon, and the sun was shining through the tall trees to make the path glow green. it had an element of magical perfection to it. i can’t wait until i can take someone i love there.

maybe i’m just too emotional a person; maybe it really is just another bunch of trees, water, and dirt; maybe i’m totally full of shit. but even if all that is true, it doesn’t change the way i feel about that place.

*note: this post’s date and time are incorrect as i am on the vineyard and do not have constant internet access. (i know, shocking.) anyway, this was actually written friday the 28th at 7:30 p.m.

**second note: this post and the next few will likely be quite boring as they will be almost entirely sentimental crap about being here again. if you have a weak stomach for that sort of thing, or if you are disgusted by those who own and love vacation houses, either get over it or don’t say you weren’t warned ;)


first outdoor shower of the season

i took my first outdoor shower of the year as soon as we arrived today. it was somewhat cool and damp out, due in part to the rain that conveniently ceased just in time for my shower. somehow that made it even better, the sharp contrast of the warm shower and the cold air, the way the hot water almost instantly created a steamy mist that surrounded me in a cloud of fog.

i sometimes wonder if outdoor showers are the same elsewhere. i think i was too young (and let’s face it, too afraid of bugs) to fully appreciate the little outdoor shower at the house down the shore that grandpop used to rent for my maternal family. everything logical about me says that the presence of water, wood, and fresh air should make the experiences virtually identical, but somehow something inside me still insists that it is quite different here. that it’s more invigorating, more fun, and more free. somehow everything is just more comfortable here, like a person sits better within his or her own skin. combine all that with hot water and fresh air, and you get something that i don’t think can be replicated anywhere.

to any who may have been concerned about the previous post, i am, in fact, fine. in a fit of honesty last night, i wrote the previous post and told myself i would post it when i got back online. it is true that i let myself cry more (a good thing, i swear), and that i did so yesterday, but that does not mean that there is any serious problem other than stress and lack of sleep here. and with that, i'm off to spend my first night in my "apartment". g'night!

one thing i've finally learned: sometimes you need to just give up, give in, and cry. really cry. soak your face, soak your pillow, soak yourself to sleep. a sleep that is less of a daily rejuvination and more a complete lack of ability to do anything.

my digital camera finally arrived, and i got to do what i've always wanted to do...

i fooled around with different settings and took pictures of myself taking pictures. okay, so it's pretty lame, but when i was really young i always thought it would be cool to look at yourself in a mirror through a camera. so tonight i finally did. and now everyone can see me being a dork.



and not to worry: the digital camera marks the dawn of an age of more cool pictures on the blog, not just weird ones. i promise. :)

OH. MY. GOD.

not having spent much time showering in previously blogged pool-house/office/apartment, i didn't realize...

removable, massaging showerhead.

reasons i should not get pedicures...

for emily's birthday, we took her to berwyn nails (and several other places). we all got pedicures, emily's complimentary on us. :) in the process, i realized several reasons why having someone else attend to my feet is a bad move.

1) they're OOffensive
2) i'm ticklish. very ticklish. you'd think those files that they use on the dead skin on the bottom of your feet would do anything but tickle. but not for me.
3) not only am i ticklish, but i have somewhat active reflexes. when triggered, they make me appear as if i'm having a seizure, but localized to whatever part of my body happens to be involved. in this case, seizing legs.
4) i'm a wuss. a wuss who hates having her cuticles cut. a wuss who hates having her cuticles cut but can't say anything about it because she's a little afraid of the woman who is rapidly snipping at her toes.
5) while most girls would be thinking, "wow, my feet are going to feel so nice and smooth when all the dead skin is cut off," some little part of me is thinking, "it's taken me years of running to develop those calluses."

really, in the end though, i'm such a girl at heart and just love feeling my smooth, pretty feet and looking at my shiny, lilac (that's right, lilac, not purple) nails. final verdict on pedicure - good.

me: i still have dial-up
becca and elie: i do too
becca: chesterbrook is dumb, and i have to connect at 26.4.
kelly: 26/4?
becca: yeah, like, how fast i connect?
kelly: oh! i thought you meant like 24/7, but you were just dumb!

surprise surprise...

whether you chose to call it the office, the pool house, or some other name, the little building behind my house is finally becoming mine! and i shall call it... my apartment. it has a nice ring to it. sure, there's not exactly a closet, and tons of my parents' stuff is currently living out there with me, but it just a couple more days, it will be mine. and i will no longer be living with a nine-year-old. woohoo.

aside: for those of you who don't know, it is simply amazing that my family has decided to finally let me move out there. it's the kind of thing that your parents say "sure" to, thinking that it's too much work to ever follow through on. and now it's happening.

i think an apartment warming party may be in order... let me know what you think :)

in other (and even more surprising) news, my parents finally decided that four drivers was too much for two cars, and bought a third. sure, it used to be owned by a smoker, but it is neither a mini-van nor a station wagon. i am quite happy. (for those of you who desire more information than that, it is a toyota camry, and i have no idea what year... i know nothing of cars.) in usual my-parents-fashion, they said they were vaguely considering buying a car two days before i came home and saw it in our driveway. brings back memories of a certain summer vacation when they said they were "looking at houses to possibly buy in the very far future..." and then left two weeks later with a bid in on the house we now own. talk about impulse shopping.

new apartment, new car... my life is good. not to mention the fact that this may help facilitate visits to dc in the not-so-distant future. woo woo :)

realizations of the night:

1. my sister has been to more proms this year than i have been to in my life.
and
2. it doesn't really bother me. :)

one cool thing about blogger commenting: it e-mails you when you get a comment. so you know right away and can check it out. and feel popular for getting comments and e-mail. :)

one notsocool thing about blogger commenting: it e-mails you when you get a comment. so there's no more eager checking of your own blog to see if someone may have commented. because, let's face it, some of us do that.

on my way to emily's tonight, i found the copy of the most righteous cd ever: volume ii that i made for my mom. now celine dion's greatest hits had really been tempting me, but how could i not whip out all my memories from last year in the form of one mix cd and blast them? i'm so cool, i know.

picture it, if you will, i'm cruising down route 30, a.k.a. lancaster avenue, metallic light green winstar, windows down, music shaking. such songs as "best i ever had", "one", "could it be any harder", and "stop crying your heart out" made appearances. i am so the epitome of cool. it's funny how some songs you can never detach from specific memories and emotions, and others change so easily, taking on a completely different meaning, surprising you with the change you never thought could occur.

i was craving ramen (i know, already... it's only been a week), so i decided to stop at the grocery store before emily's. funny thing though, i couldn't remember where one was. i mean, i knew of several on 30, but couldn't seem to locate them exactly. i finally made it to the acme and picked up ramen (they only had the bad kind, and they were charging $0.20... can you believe it?!?), some crushed red pepper flakes (it wouldn't be ramen without them), and strawberry popsicles. mmmmm.

the independence of the (not so open road), good music, cheap college food... what a night.

so, i considered a big long update on nc fun, but it's been far too long, and tim did far too good a job. plus, i don't think that many people really care :-p.

breathe

friday: my last two finals
saturday: packing at the hands of my mother and a chambers gig
sunday: out by noon, and finally on the road - ahem, train, for 7 hours - to alex's in north carolina

and now, monday night, i'm finally able to relax. can't really think enough to write now, but more about durham fun will surely follow upon return to good ole PA on wednesday.

so tim and i are sitting in his room. and i'm not studying for the two exams that i have tomorrow. and we just heard someone scream from the hall...

where's my penis!?!?

it's like everyone, even friendster, is telling me not to procrastinate and to KEEP STUDYING FOR MY MAP EXAM!!!


Scheduled Maintenance On Wednesday, May 12

The purpose of this maintenance downtime is to make improvements to the system, such as adding new hardware or making changes in software to offer new features. We will try to make improvements as quickly as possible.

Thank you for your understanding.

Regards,
Friendster



Dear Friendster,

some students are freaking out and need easy ways to avoid studying. besides blogging about your outages. please consider that next time you take your site down. Thank you for your understanding.

Regards,
Caitlin

now i know i said i was going to try out different templates and see if everyone liked them, but then i realized that this was my favorite one. and i realized that everyone else seems to like it as well. so i think it stays. :)

15:44:17 aseaturtle: don't reply to this im...
15:44:17 themccaitlin: 1.5 hours, 2.5 pages to go...
15:44:20 aseaturtle: GO CAITLIN, GO!
15:44:21 aseaturtle: :)

i <3 monica


oh, and monica, it's not just your writing style that gives your anonymous comments away. it's your whoa's.

shock and amazement... i've changed my blog's template. but don't worry, the old one is saved. in the next few days, i'm deciding what i want to use, so i'll switch it up a bit. please feel free to comment on which one you like best. (and no, i'm not whoring for comments... this time. i really want to know what you think.) basically, i'll probalby pick a new template anyway, but i may end up altering the colors to be my old color scheme. so let me knwo if you spot a template you like and what you thought of the old colors.

my apologies for that being far too long of a post for that boring subject. i chalk it up to working on an ilaw paper at 5:30 in the morning.

also, temporarily disregard the previous comments post since i haven't added the old comment html to the new template and won't do so until i finally decide on a template (if i bring back old comments at all).

okay, i think i'm done now :-p sorry!

so i'm trying out blogger's comments, which are cool because they e-mail me to let me know when you comment on my blog. and i like getting comments AND e-mails, so it's a win-win situation. (unlike no winn situations.) but anyway, until i make up my mind, my old comments will still appear as the second comment option... please use the first if you're nice enough to leave me a little shout-out. thanks!

things that can happen twice at georgetown

last night was the last 8pm mass (aka: hippie mass or kumbayah mass) and, being that it was during finals time, i was somewhat preoccupied with thoughts of seven papers/exams. toward the end of the 8pm mass, everyone moves around the alter, making for a slightly less organized communion than at most churches. as i was milling through people to receive communion, i looked up and thought, "oh, president bartlet."

at which point i did a bit of a double take and thought, "neither he nor martin sheen is supposed to be here right now." after church he was quite swamped, and i decided that, since i was able to get a picture with him last year, there was no point in me bothering the man i admire so much. upon returning to the quad though, i thought about the fact that meaghan had never met him, and i did not have a picture of myself with martin sheen and the two of them. so needless to say, we shamelessly ventured back to dahlgren quad where we caught mr. sheen on his way out.

someone jumped in the picture as we were taking it, but thanks to the magic of photoshop, tim fixed the picture perfectly :) now if seeing martin sheen isn't good finals karma, i don't know what is!



jed bartlet is still my president

things that should happen once in college

about a week ago, i decided to take a night shower. because i am of the sophistication level of enjoying and savoring my showers, i may have taken a little longer than is customary for most people. i left my roommate watching alias around 9:30, and returned to the room at 10 to find it... locked. not exactly sure what to do, and definitely not wanting to go to the rho in what tim describes as a somewhat "frumpy" towel (it's one of those towels with the elastic and velcro at the top so you don't have to hold it up... yeah, it's pretty frumpy), i decide to try random doors of people on my floor to see if i can use their cell to call tim. because, after ordering chinese food on someone's cell phone multiple times per week for a year, you kind of memorize their number. i finally find someone nice enough to let me use her phone however (gasp!) she only has a landline. so i make use of our university's fabulous "conversant directory" to get tim's number and call begging to borrow some pajama pants and a t-shirt until i can get a key to my room. tim came to my rescue, and said i could just stay in his clothes until my roommates returned rather than pay the $10 or whatever to get into my room.

that, with my summer-at-brown's fire-drill-in-a-towel have to be up there with my top collegiate experiences.

(and no, i did not write this post to avoid an ilaw paper, i merely did it to get in the "writing mentality" as i like to call it. oops!)

chambers saturday night

yes, i'm blogging right now. when everyone and everything, including my away message, says i should be writing my ilaw and usfp paper. but what's it to you?

last night (when i probably also should have been writing my paper), i went out with the chambers following what was a fun little "study break" if i do say so myself. what else could you ask for on a saturday night during finals time than 45 minutes of a cappella in copley crypt? as some would say, for that "you're-dead-and-don't-know-it-yet feel". that can't be called an actual concert because of school rules escaping all logical understanding. oo, and visits from amazingly cool maryland folk. good times, good times. it was great :)

so afterward, there was some chair moving, some time debating, some picture taking, and we were off! to get dressed for bangkok fun. it's always good to show up at a crowded restaurant, ask for a table for 14, and be seated right away, and, miraculously, we pretty much were. after dinner we were joined by a certain ms. gubbins for thomas sweet enjoyment (where i was "fired" for owning and using flower pens... of all the crazy things...), after which we headed to the chambers single for one last hurrah. we watched jurassic park, a few of us were scolded for our difficulty in handling scary events, and there was a slightly-more-heavy-than-comfortable coversation about school uniforms. let me just say, without any sarcasm or exageration, how much i love our group :) we lost an unfortunate number of people as the night moved on to studying (wtf?!), sleep (pish-ah), and other plans (like there's anything better to do than us), but we can forgive them. because they're awesome.

thanks you guys for a great year!!! i can't wait for spring '05!

chambers has reached an all new level of dorkiness. last night we were talking about when we could rehearse in copley crypt, and i mentioned that there were daily masses held there at night and that i heard there were only about two people in attendance. fred said, "well, whenever two or more are gathered...", and michael said, "two people, it's like a christ quorum."

i love our group!

ashley and i have chile on the brain...

my away message...
ashkazam: if I saw a Chilean on the street today, I'd run away
yes, we're that nervous!

hers...
Caitlin and I will be taking water ballet together in Chile in the fall.

on thursday at lunch with tim, i mentioned that i had seen a girl with really cute short hair, that i would totally sleep with her were i interested in women, and that it would be fun to cut my hair. in true, impulsive fashion, by thursday night i had decided to make the cut on saturday. so it didn't come out exactly as i would have liked (i gave the hair dresser a picture of kerri russell and asked for it to be a little longer since i have thinner hair... you can imagine my surprise when she took a razor to the side of my head!), but i figure it's better to be able to grow it to the length that i want than to have it too long and have to get it cut again in like a week, right? :) i think so at least!





you can see the resemblance, can't you ;)