America's Next Top Teacher

or, how I managed to walk down a runway, as a teacher, and not make a fool of myself

The short answer to that quandary is, I have no idea how. I think the blinding lights may have had something to do with it, or the surprisingly approving applause. Who knew that seeing a teacher take a risk and do something totally frightening would excite such approbation?

As posted earlier, I was a model in the school's fashion show, the final exam, if you will, of the fashion design elective at school. It turns out I was the only teacher model. Yikes. I wish I had pictures to post; if I get some they'll go right up. For now, the picture I paint in your mind will have to suffice. My designer had the self-described "crazy" line. She likes goth-inspired concepts, which went hard core into my dress. It had a red and black satin bust. The waist began immediately below and involved layer upon layer of black satin and red and black tulle. The top red layer of tulle was cut at the bottom to resemble flames extending downward. The back laced up with a ribbon. It was all very medieval meets rocker chick at the prom. My hair was spiky and my eye makeup smoky with a touch of red.

As someone who can now speak from experience, here are a few things to remember when asked yourselves to model in a fashion show.

1. If the designer tells you there will be no pictures, she is hiding the truth from you to calm your fears. In other words, she is lying. Fashion is pictures. There's no avoiding them. Even if there had not been a photographer hired for the evening, the parent and student newspaper flashes going off would have been sufficient to blind me had the spotlights not been so extreme.

2. If the designer tells you that all you have to do is walk, she obviously is overlooking the fact that posing and walking are not the same thing, you do have to walk and pose, therefore you have to do more than just walk. In other words, she is lying. Again. It's not her fault. She doesn't realize that the idea of "striking a pose" terrifies you, even when posing for cell phone contact pictures. Do not take it out on her. Make your own mental adjustment. Because when she tells you to pose-two-three, walk the corner, pose-two-three, walk to the other corner, pose-two-three, walk back up the runway, pose-two-three, that's four three-second poses there. That's twelve seconds of posing you need to be mentally prepared for. So gear up.

3. If possible, find out where your principal will be sitting during the show, and look anywhere but in that direction. If his is the only face you make out through the bright lights, it might bring on sudden shortness of breath and heart palpitations, not to mention fear of loss of professional dignity, which greatly interferes with any mental preparation for the aforementioned 12 seconds of posing.

The most exciting (by which I mean terrifying) part of the evening was attempting to speak seriously with parents who had come to the show. I think I pulled it off with minimal awkwardness... for me at least. The bottom line greatest benefit to come from the whole experience was to show students that even teachers do things that frighten them, and they can have a blast doing it.