Popularity vs. Self-Hatred

I'm doomed.

There is a difference between popularity and self-confidence. Obviously, I knew this before, but I felt the two really had a lot to do with each other.

The above article lured me in with its promise that teenage popularity was not all that important. In fact, it had little to do with success later on in life. "Yes!" I thought, "One day I will go back to my high school reunion to find that those who were cruel to me have landed suitably unfulfilling careers as retribution.

No, that was just what the article hoped I would think. It went on to describe that while it did not matter if one was popular in high school, to attain life success, teens did have to be comfortable with themselves and happy in their group of friends. This is a tough one. I certainly was comfortable with my friends in high school and found my niche in music, AP classes, and reading on Saturday nights. But comfortable with myself? I'm never going to be comfortable with myself. All of a sudden my dream of waltzing up to some frighteningly fast food (because nothing prepared that quickly can be good for you) counter and requesting that a former social barracuda pass me a medium fries slipped away.

Damn my own self confidence. I started building it up again in college -- being one among other nerds helps that -- but this regression in to high school life through teaching has only hurt me. Is there hope for the self-loathing dork? I can only hope I actually love myself more than I let on.