Welcome back to Georgetown! That'll be $20,000 and a small intestinal pouch

my rediscovery of american health systems

fine! i give up! i cave under the pressure of the demanding masses [read: one brit-residing monica] and update once more. to bring rapidly up to date with my life, i returned from chile, i hit up philly, i had christmas with chileans chillin’ states-side (in DC to be exact), i vineyard-ed, i took new hampshire by storm with my stunning skiing skills courtesy of tim’s family’s ski house, i introduced amy to philly, and then we stormed georgetown with stunning force.

so that was me, just another one of the throngs of georgetown students coming back from being abroad and moaning about how hard it is to re-integrate into a culture, etc, etc. reverse culture shock aside, things were going rather well, i was happy to be back, liked my classes, hated my work, the usual.

two wednesdays ago, in the middle of just one of those liked classes, balkan politics at 8:50 to be exact, i began experiencing sharp abdominal pains, as i would later tell a million and a half doctors, nurses, residents, and med students throughout the georgetown health systems.

i went home and lied down, thinking a few episodes of alias and some rest would surely clear up whatever was ailing me, just in time to place me in con law at 11:40. wrong! by 1:20 pm, i conceded partial defeat, and made my way to the student health center, which had so kindly told me over the phone that i would have to wait a very long time if i chose to be seen today.

1:35 – i arrive in the shc
1:40 – i put my head between my legs and try to concentrate on not concentrating on pain
1:45 – i realize head between legs tactic isn’t working and try head dangling eerily back method
1:50 – everyone surrounding me in the waiting room has disappeared, and i approach the woman at the desk who told me to take a seat and ask if i should, perhaps, fill out some paperwork. ma’am, i respect the fact that this is not a pleasant job to do, however we are very sick people. we are not trying to be unpleasant; this frown is not meant to be antagonistic towards you, but is hard to remove because MY ABDOMEN IS ON FIRE! thank you for your assistance.
1:55 – i finish aforementioned paperwork
2:00 – i am seen by the nurse the above referenced woman told me over the phone would be able to see me… because the doctors are completely busy today. no one but the nurse would be able to see me, but if i still wanted to come in, that was fine, i’d just have to wait a long while…
2:04 – the nurse says the doctor will be right with me

so the doctor didn’t think it was appendicitis, but i was tender on the right side of my belly, so she was going to send me across the parking lot for a ct scan at the hospital. i arrived there at about 2:30 and waited until 5 or 5:30, drinking radio-active milky stuff and making conversation with a man surprisingly upbeat for a) having cancer and b) having just lost his wife to cancer. this new friend of mine tried to get the technicians to take me first, seeing that i, by this time, was in a terrible amount of pain, but they would hear nothing of his kindness and saw him first. not that i’m complaining. the thing tearing my insides apart came out that night; my pain was not long-lasting.

as this update is already far too detail heavy, i will spare you the grim details of a ct scan. needless to say, when one’s appendix is inflamed, you’re already in enough pain without them expanding your large intestine with fluid. fun.

after that great experience, i waited outside while some young resident looked at my scan. my guess is that it was his first appendicitis, from my two, short conversations with him.

resident: where’s your doctor?
me: pennsylvania.
res: what? who sent you here?
me: oh, the student health center.
res: okay… well… i’m going to have to look at this more, and call her. and look with my colleague. can you, um, wait here?
me: yeah, sure.
res: [obviously stressed] okay.

resident: [appearing again]: well… after looking at the scan… and talking with your doctor… i’m afraid it’s your appendix.
me: [relieved that i finally knew what the hell was biting my abdomen to pieces] okay.
res: so, um, you’ll go to the emergency room?
me: (are you asking me if i will go to the er, or are you just unsure of the advice you’re giving me?) yeah, can you tell me how to get there?
res: oh! i’ll walk you there!
me: (great, something you’re sure of.)

obviously, parenthetical remarks are thoughts. i was very appreciative of the assistance provided me at radiology and didn’t want to freak him out any more.

i went to the er, called my mom, who left me with “caitie? what do you mean you’re just going to get your appendix out? what do you mean you don’t know who the surgeon
will be? you know, there are bad doctors out there, caitie,” and called tim, who left me with “if there’s anything i can do, let me know.”

after a bit of a wait in the er, i was given a bed and a young nurse/nursing student teased me for being a “real bleeder” as a large pool of red appeared on the sheets beneath my arm and she desperately tried to get some of my blood into one of the tubes for tests.
i told hordes of med students what was wrong with me, when it had started, and let them push around my belly to see me wince. i met my surgeons and told them my mom wanted them to call her (they reported back to me that she was on her way down to spend the night with me – my mom may freak out easily, but at least she takes good care of me). my surgeon went home for dinner since we weren’t going to get an OR before then. i met the really hot med student that was going to be working with him. because fate thought it would be good for me to be attracted to people while in a de-generizing hospital gown and in pain.

mercifully, at around 8:30 pm, i passed out with the pain. right before surgery, they gave me some narcotics to stop me from crying. when your appendix is inflamed, it’s not pleasant. it’s hard for you to tell it’s your appendix, because it makes your whole stomach a raging mush of sickness and pain. so i put aside all facades of strength i have and just cried.

at around 9:30 or 10:00, they wheeled me into the OR, and 2 hours, three small scars, and the aid of some cameras later, i lost my appendix.

my mom stayed the night in the hospital with me, which was a godsend. my mother is a nurse practitioner. given the nursing shortage, it’s always nice to have one’s own personal nurse with the added benefit of being a crazed mother who will demand pain meds for you. another nice thing is to live close to where you get the surgery done. instead of leaving me to recuperate with my randomly assigned roommate (who is very nice, but certainly not familiar to me), i got to go home to the comfort of my (and jackie’s – long story) bed. which is where i spent most of the weekend.

i came back to gtown sunday night, just in time for the super bowl, and found that tim had kindly taken care of everything i asked him too. the problem with getting surgery is that, in hospitals, you can’t use your cell phone. so if you need anything, you’re forced to [gasp!] remember numbers. you also have to make local phone calls. what luck, then, that i have ordered delivery chinese to tim’s cell phone about a million times AND that tim is cool enough to have a 202 number. for the first time, i am ashamed of my 610, main-line-philly area code. i hang my head. i had called tim from the hospital to take care of a few things for me (including calling my chilean friends living in DC to tell them i couldn’t make it to the bars the night after my appendicitis. tim enlisted jeff’s spanish-speaking help, and i am eternally grateful to both of them.)

at this point, i’m just trying to play catch-up. sleeping for five days isn’t a great way to keep up with work. the 8 page con law paper i have for tomorrow is going well so far, but does anyone want to talk to me a bit about great expectations…